25 Random Things

So I originally got tagged on Facebook, but I decided to post here too. I am not tagging people in particular, but if you read this, consider yourself tagged!

1. I am a procrastinator. I just seem to do better with less time.
2. One of my best friends lives in South Africa now, another good friend lives in Indiana and one might be moving to London. I am beginning to wonder just how bad my b.o. really is.
3. I am a sucker for a good romantic movie.
4. My husband bought us an awesome Broyhill desk at a garage sale this weekend for $10. He refinished it and it looks brand new.
5. I love to get gift cards, but I hate to give them.
6. I used to say that I would never marry someone whose last name started with “S” because I hate to write S-es. Ha. Good thing I totally got told by God on that one.
7. I am horribly bad about interrupting. It’s not because I’m trying to be rude, it’s because I’m A.D.D and if I don’t say what I’m thinking right then, then I forget.
8. I am a big fan of Dolly Parton. Yes, I admit that I myself have called her disturbing before, and I’m not sure why that didn’t make it clear to me why I should not be her fan, but nevertheless, I still am.
9. I have danced ballet, tap, jazz, and lyrical for 21 years of my life. I was even on the big screen at the Alamodome during halftime at a Spurs game.
10. I really really want to be a tambourine girl. I’ve offered for several bands, but no one has taken me up on it. I’m still waiting for my big break.
11. I am gluten intolerant. No wheat, rye, or barley for me.
12. I love to cook. My above random fact has made that hard, but has allowed me to be creative with recipes.
13. I can’t stand Oprah. Go ahead. Gasp, scream, cry, call me blasphemous. I don’t like the woman.
14. There are two ways to my heart: coffee or queso.
15. I love to take a warm bath at night. But, I always have to shower first so as not to have to soak in my own filth.
16. When I went to Costa Rica, I seriously considered not coming home.
17. Every time I go to a wedding, I have to come home and watch my wedding video.
18. I have always had a redhead in my life. Growing up, my best friend was a redhead and now I’m married to one
19. I continue to fall madly in love with that redheaded man I married ;-)
20. I like to write with Sharpies.
21. When Mark proposed (as he was holding my ring) my response was, "Is that for me?"
22. I didn't like Chinese food until Mark and I started dating and he took me to a really yummy Chinese restaurant.
23. I hate to wear socks. This has resulted in a lot of stinky pairs of shoes.
24. I want to have as many kids as God wants to give me, however He wants to bring them to me.
25. I don’t wear sunscreen and I’m afraid that may end up hurting me someday.

Is anyone still out there?

It's been a while. So long, that I'm not even sure anyone stops by anymore. There are so many things going through my heart and mind lately, but I have yet to put them all down on paper (computer screen). God is working in, moving in, living in, and changing our hearts and our home. Stay tuned. Big things are coming for our family! No, I am not pregnant. But more excitement awaits!

Until then, Merry Christmas! Over the last several weeks as decorating, card making, and gift wrapping have all consumed much of my time, I have made comments like, "Christmas is taking over my life!" I pray that even more than physically, Christmas would take over our lives and hearts so that we may know and remember what this season is about, and how beautiful the gift of our precious Savior truly is. I hope you all have a very blessed Christmas with the ones you love.

Just for fun, I leave you with one of our new photos:





I love this man.

"Time Heals Broken Wings..." - MDJ/Freddy H.

And slowly, time heals broken hearts.
Our hearts were broken and our lives were changed forever on October 10^th 2005 as my dear cousin lost her life in a tragic car accident. An accident that I have come to realize, no matter how painful it is to do so, was totally orchestrated by the Lord. It was her time. Had she left her house even 30 seconds earlier or later, it would have never happened. But it did. Because He called her home. It has been three years now. With every year, come new changes, new feelings, and new ways to deal with the grief. I sometimes cannot believe that I am still grieving over this. So many times I feel like my time is up for grieving. I wish I could get over feeling like there is some time limit; like “Ok it’s been a while now, aren’t you over this already?” Well the truth is: I will never be over it. I will never be over it because she was such a special girl who took up so much space in so many people’s hearts and lives. I will never be over it because now there is a hole in my life that can never be filled. I will never be over it because at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and family gatherings there will be one less chair to fill the room. I will never be over it because I will never hear that hearty laugh again. I will never be over it because when I have children, they will never get to know her sweet spirit who loved kids, or receive one of her big loving hugs. I will never be over it because when we go to my aunt and uncles to ride horses, she will not be there to enjoy that tradition we started long ago and still continue. I will never be over it because there are things that constantly remind me of her….all. the. time. I will never be over it because I still think of her every single day; and some days I still cry over her being gone. So I don’t think I will ever really be over it. I have however, begun to deal with and come to terms with her death and my life without her in it. It will never be easy, but it will go on. So in light of that, on the anniversary of her death this year, I was determined to rejoice. Determined to remind myself where she is now and how much better that is! In years past, October 10^th has been a really hard day for me and in turn, Mark. The last two years on October 9^th, I have dreaded going to bed because I knew what I would wake up to the next day. This year was different. This year I prayed and other people prayed over me specifically that I would be able to rejoice that she is in the glorious presence of her Creator, for there is no greater place to be. So I woke up early to go to her grave site. I haven’t done this the last two years. The few times I have been out there, it becomes very real. That’s the only way I can describe it. It reinforces the fact that she is gone and I will never physically see her again. I laid down three pink roses and took a moment just to be silent. I also decided to buy myself some pink roses to keep at work. Pink was her favorite color. I smiled every time I looked at those flowers. There was not really any sadness all day. When I got home, Mark and I shared a meal of all of her favorite foods: chicken nuggets, queso, and pigs in a blanket (made with gluten free dough of course.) We have never had a family gathering without pigs in a blanket. Katie and I both used to say that it’s not Christmas (or insert any other holiday here) without pig in a blankets! I wonder how much she would have laughed at me last year when I showed up with gluten free ones. I think we will continue eating this meal every October 10^th. It was refreshing....to share her favorite things and reminisce about her life. I did have a little breakdown after dinner, but all in all it was much better than the last two years. As I said, things have changed and are changing. Even though I still cry for, grieve over and long to see her, I will choose to realize that even though we have been through tremendous pain, there are still many reasons to rejoice. In order to help myself come to a place of rejoicing, I got out this photo. It’s one of my favorites. Mark, me and my three cousins on my dad’s side (Katie is the one standing next to Mark) on my wedding day. Katie gave me such a hard time that I was getting married before her because she was older! At my wedding she told someone “Well I better have fun at this wedding because who knows if I’ll ever have one!” If we only knew…

Katie, we still love and miss you every day. There is nothing that can or will ever replace your beautiful and ever zealous spirit in our lives. I am thankful for the short time that we had you here. Even though you are not still here with us physically, you are and will forever be in our hearts. I am still clinging to that promise....of seeing you again someday.

Should I Call it Ike or a Garage Sale?

I'm not really sure why, but…… seeing all of this footage and these photos from our friend Ike makes me think of a garage sale. Maybe it's because there is some sort of subconscious correlation between huge messes and garage sales for me?! Or maybe it's because I don't like storms or garage sales. There was a time, when I was a little girl that I loved garage sales. My MiMi would take me with her and she would give me a dollar and I would come home with like twenty things! But those days are over. The love for garage sales is long gone. (On a side note, my MiMi and my husband LOVE garage sales. They have even been known to go garage sale-ing together. We call it GS-ing. They're precious, I know. When Mark and I were dating and MiMi found out that Mark loved garage sales, it was an instant bond for them! The first time that they went GS-ing together, I was told by my MiMi that I had to marry this man!) Thanks for that discernment MiMi ;-)

A couple of days after the storm I was out riding my bike and I got to thinking about garage sales. How did garage sales start? Whose idea was garage sales? Why do people have garage sales? People have garage sales because they are a good way to accomplish two goals at once. One: to make extra money and two: to get rid of stuff. People mostly have garage sales to get rid of stuff they don't want anymore. And if they don't want it anymore, then it is trash to them right? So how is it that people will actually pay money for something that is considered trash to someone? It was a mystery to me. But then I realized: it’s because to the GS-loving darlings like my Mimi and Hubby, it is treasure. For them, they see something that to someone else it may be trash, but to them, it's the greatest prize. They are able take things that may be otherwise useless to someone else and turn it into something new and extremely useful or exquisite. This painted a beautiful picture in my mind of how God views us the same way my GS-ing duo view garage sales. He is able to see in us what other people can’t. He is able to take someone’s trash and turn it into His treasure. When someone or something has tainted us, worn us down and thrown us out, He is there to scoop us up, dust us off and make us new. When to others and sometimes even to ourselves we are useless, He reminds us that our lives are touched by His hand, and we do have a purpose. When the decisions we make lead us to a breaking point, where we feel like we can never be whole again, He doesn’t throw us away. Instead, He picks up the pieces, puts them back together, and we are made whole in Him. Why? Because we are his treasure. His most prized possession. He desires us, delights in us, and rejoices over us. He promised that when we are in Him, we are a NEW creation. Our bodies may not be new, but when we give our lives to Him, he promises to make our souls new; to wipe away all of our sins and forgive every single one of them. I am in awe of that promise. Just as my beloved GS-ers give things a second chance when they pay for someone else’s trash, our God gave us a second chance when he paid the ultimate price through His son by putting Him in our place. A debt we owe! Friends, I don’t think I will ever to be able to wrap my mind around this. In Him, we are re-created, redeemed, and sanctified by the power of the Holy Spirit. I pray that we never take lightly the fact that he always gives us a chance to begin again.

I am reminded of some lyrics from one of my favorite Mercy Me songs:

"And by Your blood that washed over me
By Your grace that came down to kiss me
You have cleaned my heart and my soul
For Your glory You made me
Made me beautiful"

Thank you Jesus for my second chance! Thank you for not throwing me out, but instead seeing a life that is worth salvaging. And thank you for revealing yourself to me even in a bike ride.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” - 2 Corinthians 5:17

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” -Ephesians 4:22-24

My Surprise and My Other Surprise....

Ok so since we got married four years ago I have been begging Mark to go to Schlitterbahn. I love that place, and I love to be in the sun! Well, those of you that know my gorgeous red-headed fair skinned man know that being in the sun for 8 hours in not first on his things-he-loves-to-do-list. Having to re-apply sunscreen every hour is not exactly his idea of fun. I have tried to be sympathetic to this but we have had to have many compromises because one of the only things that I have going for me is that my olive complexion soaks up those sun rays and can turn three shades darker almost instantly! There have been times when we have gone to the pool together and my husband takes both of our towels and literally covers his whole body. He will lay there in his man made cocoon while I relish in the cancer rays with no sunscreen (this will probably come back to bite me later) Poor Precious. All for the sake of spending time with his sun-bathing sweetheart.

Anyway, on the night of our anniversary he gave me a beautiful single-spaced typed letter (although I wanted to, he wouldn't let me share, he said it was too personal) and a sweet card. And what was in the card? That's right folks! A voucher for a trip to the hottest coolest time in Texas! My man was such a good sport about being in the sun all day. We had an absloute blast just hanging out together .We splurged and ate and ate junk the whole time. It was nice to get some time away with to relax and enjoy time with my beloved.
One thing I didn't splurge on though was a water camera. This is the one and only photo we have. It was taken by the people there, its not that great, and was ridiculously overpriced, but I had to have a memory of the day! Note the little girl in the background. We told the lady to crop her out, but she didn't. Mark said it's ok cause the little girl is so cute he didn't mind having her in our picture ;-)

Oh and the other surprise...................................................................................................................
There is going to be another baby in our family!!
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No, it is not mine! I am not pregnant! But my sister is and I am soooooo excited to be an aunt again! Another baby to kiss and hug and cuddle and love! April 14th can't get here soon enough!

Me and My Man, 2 people+2gether = 4 years

Two and a half weeks ago Mark and I celebrated our four year wedding anniversary. I cannot believe that we have been married for four years already. These have been some of the best four years of my life. We have laughed together, cried together, rejoiced together, wept together, mourned together, smiled together, dreamt together, loved together, learned together, grown together, prayed together and done life together. I am to the point where I don’t remember my life without Mark and can’t picture it without him in the future.
This year for our anniversary he told me that I was not allowed to buy him anything because he had a surprise planned for me. When I asked him what in the heck I was supposed to get for him, his exact words were, “Well, you’re just gonna have to be creative.” Great. Sometimes I can do creative, but not when there is pressure! So after racking my brain all that kept coming to me was how I couldn’t remember my life before him. Which prompted me to then try to think of all of the things that he brought to my life. I decided to compile all of these thoughts and make him a book called “Before you.” However, in lieu of our fourth anniversary, it was actually spelled Be-Four You. So my dear internet, I am about to share something pretty personal…the entries in the book I made for Mark. The one and only rule is that you can not make fun of my cheesey-ness or sappy-ness, ok? Oh and be-four is spelled the way it is intentionally ;-)


Be-four you, I didn’t know that I would learn how to love myself because of the way that I am loved.
Be-four you, I didn’t know that I could ever be someone’s priority.
Be-four you, I didn’t have a personal handyman ;-)
Be-four you, I didn’t have a buddy to do fun things with such as sleeping on the futon mattress in front of the fire, slow dancing just the two of us at home, or spontaneously hopping a plane to another state to buy a vehicle!
Be-four you, I didn’t know the beauty of being united as one with the person God created me to be with.
Be-four you, I didn’t know that something could become important you just because it was important to me.
Be-four you, I didn’t have a “Sunday Ritual.”
Be-four you, I didn’t eat Chinese food. J
Be-four you, I didn’t get to enjoy your amazing voice.
Be-four you, I didn’t know that I would have someone to stand by my side and support me in every endeavor; large or small.
Be-four you, I didn’t know the joy of having someone to share my life, my goals and my dreams with.
Be-four you, I didn’t know that someone would accept and love me no matter what kind of baggage, emotions or habits that I carried.
Be-four you, I didn’t know that I would get to marry my best friend.
Be-four you, I didn’t know that I would have someone who would take care of me in every way; whether it be financially, emotionally or even just getting me Saturday morning breakfast or getting something out of the car for me sometimes… or a lot of times.
Be-four you, I didn’t know it was possible to lose myself by staring into your beautiful blue eyes.
Be-four you, I didn’t know how to manage money. ;-)
Be-four you, I didn’t have our precious Asher and Allie.
Be-four you, I didn’t know what it would be like to have nothing else in the world matter except being in the presence of the man I love.
Be-four you, I didn’t know I would marry someone with such a cute butt ;-)
Be-four you, I didn’t eat hamburgers on Saturdays; a family tradition that I have come to love.
Be-four you, I didn’t know that hearing kind words or compliments from my beloved’s mouth would be enough to refresh my entire spirit.
Be-four you, I didn’t know what it was like to have someone go out of their way to be sweet to me just because they wanted me to know I was loved.
Be-four you, I didn’t know what it was to be loved unconditionally.
Be-four you, I didn’t have someone to hug and kiss anytime I want.
Be-four you, I didn’t know that I would spend my life with someone who not only loves me more than they love them self, but always lets me know.

Happy Anniversary my man! I love you Mark; always and forever and all the time. Thanks for being mine.

P.S. Are you wondering what his surprise to me was? Well then stay tuned! Knowing that I need to post the surprise will give me the incentive to post sooner than 3 weeks from now ;-)

An Unplanned Post...

Its crazy to me how life can just so quickly throw curve balls at you. The kind that hit you smack in the face and just sort of stun you for a while.
The first was that my Paw Paw had to be admitted to the hospital yesterday. He was having some unstable chest pain so they decided to admit him. This morning he underwent a cardiac catheterization with stent placement and he is doing wonderful. I'm not too concerned about this situation.
What is weighing heavily on my heart right now is the news I received when I ran into an acquaintance as I went to visit my Paw Paw in the ICU. This acquaintance informed me that his wife was also currently in the ICU. She was recovering from an intentional overdose. She tried to take her own life. This news has deeply upset me and I'm not sure why. I don't even really know this woman. I have met her once and talked to her on the phone a couple of times. She is seemingly one of the sweetest happiest people you would ever meet. I certainly would have never suspected that she suffered from such depression. I think I am in shock. But it's always those that we least suspect who seem to have a deep and dark struggle inside them. I guess they hide it the best. I think the reason I am upset is because I am burdened and hurting for this family; for whatever has caused her to have an unsettled heart and mind, for her husband and her three beautiful children. I don't even really know what else to say right now.

I am sorry dear internet that this is such a sad post. I do have another entry journaled that I plan to post, but this was just on my heart and mind tonight. Please pray for this precious family.