i'm goin on a trip!

I got a ticket to Indiana! To see a great Friend! Woo Hoo!

IN it? or OF it?

What does it truly mean to be in this world and not of it?
I mean yeah, I guess you could say I’m different… People know that I go to church on Sundays, and that I don’t curse, and that I have an awesome relationship with my husband. But do they know that all of these are an amazing result of my relationship with my beautiful Savior? Do they know that it is because of what he has done in my life? Do they know it’s because of my desire to serve Him and be a good reflection of Him? Just because I don’t participate in all of the things that other people do, does that mean that I am truly being righteous? Because right now, to me, I am just different. I am constantly surrounded by people who care about all the “stuff.” People who don’t care so much about going to church as much as they do about what they are going to wear to church. Instead of clothing themselves with humility, they are clothing themselves with Abercrombie, Gap, and Express. People who pay thousands of dollars to try to look like the girl on the cover of the magazine. Since when is being a beautiful child of the King not enough? People who find it necessary to let everyone know their financial status. Store up your treasures in Heaven.
The problem is, is that it is so easy to get sucked into. And I have to admit; at times I have been guilty of all of these things. So what do I do? Where do I draw the line? Is it ok to want something nice every now and then? Is it ok to go and get a new hair cut and want to look nice because it makes me feel good? Is it ok to bless someone financially even if it means people will know how much you gave? This is a tough issue for me lately. I feel like I have been drowning in people who desire the things of the world. And although sometimes I crave those things, I don’t want to be pulled in to this greedy existance. I want to influence the world, not let it influence me. What I really desire are the things of God. I want to invest in the things of Eternity. So what does this look like? I don’t think I really need straight answers. I think the bottom line is that I need to continue to seek to be like my Lord. When people look at me, I want them to see HIM.

Lord teach me what it means to be righteous. Teach me what it means to be like you even when I feel like I am in a world where it is so hard not to be.

happy new year!

wow....it's been a while, but i have been really sick with green stuff coming out of my mouth, nose, and even my eyes...so my new years consisted of a date with my husband and couch, a bunless boca burger, a toast with crystal light in a plastic champagne glass and in bed by 10:30!

but...happy new year everyone!

it's cold! and it's finals week!

So I am actually really enjoying the cold weather.EXCEPT when I get up with the morning. Because our house is on pier and beam foundation (blocks), that cold air likes to come right up through the floor. We only have a heater in our bedroom and living room, and we keep the one in the living room off at night. In the mornings, it has been so cold in the rest of the house that it literally hurts to walk on the floor barefoot. Good thing I have some old lady house slippers! Our bathroom gets especially cold also. Can you imagine getting out of the shower, and stepping into a freezing room? So what did I do? I bought a space heater. I love my space heater. Not only because of the warmth it gives me, but because of the memories it brings also....

When I was little my Mimi lived in the same kind of house we did, except for hers was about 4 times bigger. I used to love to stay with her when it was cold because it meant that we got to use the space heater when we took a bath. She would go upstairs and turn it on a few minutes before I got in there, and by the time it was time for me to take a bath, the bathroom was nice and toasty. I LOVED IT. The best part was, when I got out of the tub, I did not even have to think about being cold. I would just stand there in front of that heater and let it dry me off. And then I would sit in that bathroom and be warm until she forced me out! I loved the way standing in front of that heater felt...
I kind of do the same thing now. When I get out of the shower, I love to stand in front of my space heater and just be warm. Oh the little things in life that bring me pleasure. Thank you Lord that I have a way to get warm when it is cold.

Finals are this week.......2 tomorrow, 2 Thursday, and 1 Friday....I can make it....then what?!
Dinner and drinks at Saltgrass!

thankful...

I know that Thanksgiving in still two days away, but as the holiday approaches, I am reminded of all the things I have for which to give thanks....

I am thankful for:

-My two precious, cute, sweet but needy puppies who love to cuddle.
-My more awesome than words could describe husband who truly knows how to love not only me, but everyone unconditionally.
-Getting notes from him that say: “just want you to know I love your eyes and your smile. I look forward to them every day.”
-Knowing that notes like that are sincere.
-My amazing family who continues to love and support me in every way.
-My 100% adorable nephew who is healthy and full of life and brings so much joy to our family.
-Stellar friends who continue to encourage, challenge, and build me up.
-The person who created flip flops.
-The unique opportunity that the Lord has given me to serve others through becoming a nurse and the way He has increased my faith in the process.
-A place to rest my head each night that I can call my home.
-Food on my table every day.
-A life of abundance that I do not deserve but receive because of God's mercy and grace.
-His faithfulness in my faithlessness, His strength in my weakness and His joy in my sorrow.
-Being called a Child of God!

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." -1 Thessalonians 5:18

Dear Friends-
I pray that you will have a blessed thanksgiving. May we all always remember all the great things the Father has done for us.

What are you thankful for?

want to get a good workout?

Well if you do, then just take these two crazy, hyper, a.d.d, anxious jack russell terriers out for a "walk". It is insane. For the past few weeks we have been walking and taking them with us. Mark usually walks one, and I usually walk one, so it is pretty easy. Well the past 3 days, Mark has had to work late, so I have had to take both of them by myself. I thought about just taking one, but I just couldn't do it. I felt bad leaving one behind. You would have thought that I learned my lesson after the first day of the madness, but I guess I thought it would get better. My "walk" quickly turns into a run most of the time. So hey, at least I am getting some good cardio in?!
They sure are cute though aren't they?!

one year later and it's still fresh

Along this road that they call life, I have encountered a violent storm. Not only does its thunder shake the windows of my heart, but its winds stir up every deepest part of my being. Last Tuesday marked the year anniversary that my dear cousin lost her life in a very tragic car accident. And no, there was not even a drunk driver involved. Just an eighteen wheeler and lots of rain.
24 years is all we got before the Lord decided to take her home.

I remember Mark coming to my office to tell me the news. I remember my amazing friend coming to my house to help me pack and then leave her four kids at home to drive me to College Station. I remember getting there and going to my aunt and uncle's house where my whole family was gathered and in shock. I mostly remember the next morning going to the funeral home with my family and watching my aunt and uncle make arrangements to bury their 24 year old daughter. I remember them asking us questions and all of us trying to keep it together enough to plan a funeral. I remember picking out a casket. I remember thinking that no one should ever have to do this. And it is still as fresh today as it was then...

Her real name was Kathleen but to us, she was and has always been just Katie. And that is exactly what she was…just Katie. And that is what I loved about her. One of the most simplistic people you could ever know. What you saw is what you got. She didn’t try to be something she wasn’t, and she definitely never sugar coated anything. She said it like it was. If you wanted to know the truth, you just asked Katie! And it didn’t matter what you thought, because she didn’t care. She was full of life and enthusiasm. She traveled lightly through this world because money and material things were not important to her. What was important to her though was people. She loved people, especially kids and her family. She was an awesome example of a true servant. She was always the first to want to help others. She loved to laugh. Her dream was to become a nurse; that is something she wanted so badly. It is actually something we have both dreamed of. We used to joke about who would finish first since we were both taking an abnormally long time to get through school.
I got accepted to nursing school two months after she died.
An extra special blessing for me because I feel privileged to finish the race that was set out for us both. This is what we both wanted, and I get to do it. But there are some days when I want to just pick up the phone and call her. And I almost did. I want to tell her how we were supposed to do this together and how I don’t want to do this without her. I want to tell her how I think of her every day when I am caring for my patients and how her memory lives on inside of me because of the example she set for me that I get to imitate daily.

Precious Katie, how I long for you to still be here, how I cry for you to come and sit with me, and come talk with me, and come laugh that hearty laugh with me. My heart aches because I want you here, but my soul rejoices for you because you are now face to face with our beautiful Savior. I think about how much I miss you and I start to feel sorry for myself. But then I think about everyone who never got a chance to meet you, and I feel sorry for them. My wonderful, exuberant, larger than life cousin who graced this earth with her presence for 24 beautiful years. I love you and miss you every day.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. –Psalm 139:16
Though yours came sooner than anyone expected or hoped, I will not ask why. I will cling to the promise and privilege of being part of a greater plan. I look forward to seeing you again someday.

Katie V. Young
You are always in my heart…

100%...

100% chance of rain today. it's gonna be a long yucky day. i wish i could stay at home curled up under a blanket with my husband drinking our homeade hot chocolate and then sleeping...

it all started....

It all started on Wednesday night when I woke up vomiting. I'm not sure if it was a virus, or the taco salad I had for lunch, but whatever it was, it kept me in bed and away from clinical all day Thursday. Then on Friday when I went back to class, I got accused of doing something on Thursday that I didn't do because I WASN'T THERE. And the chick who did do it totally didn't fess up. Then this morning I woke up with a lengthy list of things to do. One of them being driving all around Sugar Land to get stuff together for a basket that our Sunday school class is putting together to auction off. How am I always the one to get put in charge of these things? Anyway, I didn't want this project to be an all day affair, but wouldn't you know it was. One of my last stops was good ole' Wal Mart. I had been in there for about 45 minutes and went up to the front to pay. Yep, you guessed it. I forgot something! So after I spent way more than I needed to, I walked all the way to the back of the store to get what I came for in the first place. Then on my way out, with a cart full of stuff I stopped by the vision center to get some more contacts. "Please sit down." They say. I can handle it I guess. Hopefully my milk and hamburger meat can too. Then I give them my name and they tell me they don't have me in their system. Of course you don't! Then I remembered that I ordered them from Sam's, right next door. So after contemplating whether or not I should bring the cold stuff home and come back, I decide that the groceries can make it for an extra five minutes. I race out to the car and apparently the cart decided to stop at the car before I did because I stubbed my toe big time. In major pain, I proceed to make it to Sam's and I give them my name and they tell me that they don't have my kind in. Well why would you??? They tell me they can order them and it will be 6-7 days. I am on my last pair of contacts, one which has a scratch (hence me coming to get more). I don't have 6-7 days! So, I opt for the "step up" from the ones I wear and spend 40 bucks on contacts that I don't even like! Then when I am half way out the door, the chick standing there tells me "Ma'am this is the entrance. The exit is over there and you have to go out that way." Since when have people been that adament about which door to go in?! I had no idea it was that serious, but today just happens to be the day that it would be.

Maybe God just wants me to slow down a bit.

Moral of the story, don't mix up the entrance and exit, don't forget to actually look at your list when you are at Wal Mart, and I think my toe is broken.

God is still Good. All the time.

a beautiful noise...

my man. he is in the living room listening to the ipod, playing the piano and belting out some tunes. it's so funny when he gets so into it because he forgets that anyone else is around. he thinks i am in the computer room studying, but i am listening to his awesome voice. i used to wish i could sing like him, but then i realized that if i could, i would be able to enjoy hearing him. what a blessing.

clinicals= 4:30a.m. and love....

Clinicals: That time in nursing school where you become the bottom of the food chain, the last on the totem pole; the time where you have to wake up way before anyone should have to wake up so that you can get your "hands on" training. You hope that someone will be so gracious as to let you follow them around without losing all of their insanity because of all of the questions you have. But I completely love it.

Let me tell you, the worst part of clinicals is having to get up at 4:30. That's right. 4:30A.M.. If you know me, you probably don't believe that I get up that early. But it's true. I do. On my first day when that alarm clock went off, I sat up in bed and my first thought was, "O.K. I am pretty sure that there are only two other people awake at this hour: God, and my PawPaw." And out of the two, I really needed one of them to give me a push. So, I said "God if you could just give me a little extra strenth to stay awake today that would be great." In spite of my serious lack of sleep, I got out of bed, put on my scrubs and managed to make it to clinical.

But, when I got to that clinical site, the fact that i am not a morning person and that I was awake before the sun, and that I needed about 4 cups of coffee just to stay awake totally disappears. What becomes more important are the people who need care. And not just physical care; Emotional care too. These are people who have no one. They may have gone months without anyone coming to see them, or they might not even have anyone left to come and see them. Health care is quite an interesting thing, because it goes far beyond just treating someone for an illness. It is about ensuring people's all around well being. It is being there to talk to them, or giving them a hug or smile when what they are really there for is dementia, or inability to care for themselves, or a severe wound. Because even though on paper, what they need is medication, or therapy, or a dressing change, what they really want is to be loved by someone and to know that someone cares. You see, nursing truly is a ministry. And I really beg to differ with anyone who disagrees. There are many who try to separate nursing from Christianity, but it is my simple opinion that it is just not possible. I love that you can make someone's day by smiling that them, or taking two seconds to sit with them at a meal, or make their whole week just by bringing them a cup of coffee to their room. I love that I get to love people.

"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." - 1 John 4:11-12

Dear Jesus, thank you for the absolute privilege of getting to make a career out of showing people your perfect love. I pray that everyday I will be able to put my desires aside to be able to give to those who need love the most. And I pray that each day that they would get to see You, not because of me, but because of what You have done through me.

round one...

well round one of tests came and went. and they all came on THE SAME DAY. i kept thinking to myself: who in the world gives three tests on the dame day? and then i thought to myself...oh duh, nursing school professors. the worst part about it is that anything below an 80 is considered failing in this program, SO, you must do well. this is why we lost nine people last semester. they all "failed" with 70 somethings. yikes. scary.
well, i was pleased because i got high Bs on all three tests. not great, but not horrible consiserding there were no more than 3 As on each of them. I'll take it!
time to get back to studying for monday's test. nope. they never end. i'm definitely back in full swing. and i know how to give injections now too.

my labor day....

well i got to study all day while mark worked on the kitchen. he took a rather long break though. he came and laid on the couch with his head in my lap. i studied and he watched maury povich and laughed hysterically at it and then fell asleep. i continued to study while he used my leg as a pillow.

i love my life.

and it's back.....

Well I have been back to nursing school for a week and it is CRAZY. My workload has pretty much doubled and I have already become very overwhelmed. How in the world will I do 3 days of clinical and 5 classes??? For the past few days, when I have gone to sit down to study, it has been so difficult. I never knew you could "read" the same page about 5 times and still not remember a thing you read! Last semester was quite different and I did extremely well. This one is going to be a bit tougher. I really struggled with my feelings of doubt in myself. But the Lord put this Third Day song in my head:

Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

I can do this. I will do this. The Lord has given me an awesome opportunity and so far has more than provided the strength that I have needed. And when I am done I will have the privilege of being able to show Christ's love to people in an incredible way. Thank you Jesus!

my entrance into the blog world...

The world of blogging: a place I swore I would never set foot into. Not because I am not a fan of blogging. In fact, I have several friends who blog on this here site, and I am learing of more people that I know of all the time that have become avid bloggers. But my thought was, "Why does the whole world need to have access to my deepest thoughts and do they honestly really care?" Well care or not, I came to the conclusion that it can be kind of fun for people to share some of life's experiences together. And quite honestly, the myspace thing is getting to be too much for me. Too many people from the past who you haven't talked to since you were in grade school who friend request you so that they can have 422,098 friends and make them feel good about themselves. I usually journal in a real journal or on microsoft word. But since technology is so wonderful and typing is much quicker than writing, I decided that it might be time to make the switch to a real life blog. So...here it is. Welcome to my life world.

Today Mark wanted Sonic for lunch and he wanted me to go with him to get it. I was still in my p.j.s because I had been cleaning and I REALLY didn't want to go. He finally convinced me and we went to sonic for lunch. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and a large diet dr. pepper. He ordered a #2 with mayonnaise. I wore his shoes.